Not in Front of the Child

I work hard to maintain the innocence of childhood for LouLa.  I don’t want her to be ignorant of the problems of the world, but issues of sex and violence just aren’t necessary for the 4 (almost 5!) year old mind. 

But, she does get a certain amount of glee when she hears something naughty or gets away with something a little bit naughty.  Naughty is all relative, of course. 

I love that the worst words ever, in LouLa’s world, are “stupid” and “shut up.”  We don’t really swear around her, and it’s not that we’re super puritanical about cursing (as some of you know), but rather that there aren’t many instances when she’s around that I feel the need to let out a nice loud ”FUCK!”*.  If she hears the word “stupid” on tv, she’ll cover her mouth and whisper it me, “She said stupid!”.  I always respond with shock that someone would say that and a comment about how I’m so glad she doesn’t say that.    

After dinner she generally has something for dessert.  It’s often a small dum-dum sucker.  But, sometimes, we have some other kind of candy.  The other day we had some M&Ms.  She asked if she could have some.  I played the reluctant parent and said asked how many she wanted.  She thought about it for a minute, and then said, with hope in her voice, “Seven?”   I pretended to mull is over and agreed that seven would be okay.  I think I got the, “You’re the best mom in the whole world!” kind of hug. 

This time is coming to an end, I’m sure, but I’ll take what I can get.  When she’s 15 and sneaking out of the house to experiment with the wonders of Boones Farm Strawberry Hill after calling me a stupid bitch, I hope I can look back on this time with fondness.   

  

 

 

*LouLa’s reading over my shoulder and asked me why I wrote that in all big letters.  I mumbled something, and she asked, “Is it to show yelling?”  I’m so screwed.

Sunday Pictures

The sock in progress:

This color is pretty true to life.

 

The reorganized sock stash:

I have another drawer like this that is empty and waiting for my other yarn stash.  These drawers are very deep and the yarn in the sock drawer is at least two skeins deep.  I fully admit to having a problem with sock yarn.

 

Random cuteness:

The hat is Josh’s and was his way of keeping her hair out of her face during lunch.  It fits quite nicely, which doesn’t surprise me, since she’s always had a big head.

The Week in Review

I’ve had the week off and it’s been so great.  Great in that I was able to indulge myself with laziness.  Hanging out with LouLa has been a joy.  This has been the only time in her life that staying home with her for days at a time was actually fun for me.  I love her, but I’ve always found my job to be fufilling and something that I needed.  Generally,  Sunday nights for me include counting the hours until I can go back to the adult world.  I am not doing that this Sunday.  I would love if we could financially swing it so that I could stay home all the time with her.  I’m not the kind of mom that sits and plays with my kid.  I don’t find kid games/activities fun and it’s not in my nature to pretend that I am having fun when I am not.  LouLa is used to playing by herself with minimal input from me.  Sometimes, I’m the “Boss” at her work, which means I sit on the couch and knit and tell her to “Get to work!”  Other times, I’m the Stepmother and I get to tell “Cinderella” to “Get to work!”  Hmmm…I sense a theme. In any case, talking with her and listening to her play has been so much fun.  She’ll be going to Kindergarten in the fall, so our time would be limited anyway.  I would never homeschool her, for a variety of reasons, so even if I could quit my job tomorrow, we would only have about 6 months together. 

In knitting, I finished the coworker’s scarf and gave it to her.  I’m not happy with it, but at least it’s done.  It looks fine, but it’s not reversible and I wish I had ordered more yarn so that I could have done it the way I wanted to.  I have started on a pair of socks from the Fearless Fiber sock club I was a part of a couple of months ago.  They’re a merino/tencel blend, which is very pretty, but doesn’t have the kind of give that I’m used to.  After finishing the entire leg, I tried it on.  Too small, even though I cast on the usual number of stitches.  So, I ripped it all back to start over and I’ve gotten just past the heel on the first sock.  I’ve also gone back to working on the cardigan sweater.  I’m kind of nervous, since I’m making things up as I go, following the basic instructions in the Ann Budd book.  I’m working on doing some waist shaping to try to keep it from being too boxy.  I’ve even had thoughts about going back to the Cluaranach Stole and getting that done soon.  Just thoughts so far. 

Having a week off wouldn’t be the same without a cold, right?  Monday and Tuesday I had a some congestion and sniffles.  I felt better after that.  I woke up yesterday with a croaky voice and a constant tickle in my throat.  Today that continues and I’m just barely staying vertical.  I have had one, maybe two, small colds this school year and it just figures that I’d come down with something during the week of winter break.  Not bad enough to stay home tomorrow, either.

Quotes

“Is it okay if I test my water trunk on you?”

-LouLa, age 4.5

Regret

When I started thinking about this idea of regret, my immediate reaction was, “I don’t have any regrets.  Things are the way they are, and looking back won’t change that.”  That is all true for me.  I’m not one to obsess about what could have been.  I’m quite practical and prefer to look to the future.

But, according to iGoogle, a definition of regret is to “feel sad about the loss or absence of” .  Based on that definition, I do have regrets.  Most of them can’t be changed, and I probably wouldn’t change them, but some of them are things that can be learning experiences for the future.

I regret that LouLa was born just a year after Josh and I got married and only two years after we met.  I think it would have been better to wait a bit longer before I got pregnant.  Of course, what’s done is done and I wouldn’t trade LouLa for the world.  Most days. 

I regret not buying a house with more room and a fenced yard.  There are days I regret that a lot.  I love this house in a lot of ways, but the lack of space and my worry about runaway cars (LouLa isn’t a worry at all) is a problem.

 I do regret those times when I have snapped at LouLa, especially when there was nothing snap-worthy.  I think it’s okay for kids to know when they’ve crossed boundaries and for parents to communicate that.  LouLa still reminds me of the time (over a year ago) when I “pushed” her.  In fact, I pushed her away from me, but I was angry and at the end of my rope.  I regret that she remembers that so clearly.

I don’t regret:

-Not marrying any of the other guys I dated.  Just thinking about it…ick.

-Traveling.  I have never, ever, regretted any of the traveling I’ve done.  (Italy, here I come!)

-Going along with some of the odd ideas LouLa has (Cutting up old underwear and making clothes for dolls using tape).  As a parent, I try to say yes as much as I can so that when I say no, it means something.  I have never regretted a yes moment. 

 

Kate’s behind this structured-yet-unstructured carnival.  Join in if you would like.  It’s a Wednesday thing and last week’s idea was Freudian Slips.  I didn’t have one, then, but last Friday one of my students said something to me about looking forward to not coming back (since we have this week off).  I said something like, “Yeah, I’m glad I don’t have to see you again, too!”  Not exactly the way I meant it, and even funnier because it was said in front of my principal.  Lucky for me, she’s a good friend and knew that I didn’t quite mean it the way it sounded.

Draco Sister Socks

Awhile back, I mentioned getting screwed over by an Etsy seller.  I went through the dispute process with PayPal and I should get my money back, since the seller never responded to anything from myself or PayPal.  Of course, I’m not sure what happens if the seller doesn’t have any money in their account, but I should know soon.

The yarn that caused all the problem was a Draco Malfoy inspired colorway that I was going knit into socks for my sister, who is a huge HP fan and loves Draco.  After not getting my original yarn, I couldn’t let the idea go, so I went on the search for other Draco yarn.  I was unsuccessful.  I have a feeling that in a few months, there will be tons of indie dyers working on HP inspired yarn.  Now?  Not so much.

I happened to find an Etsy shop who had HP colorways, though hadn’t done a Draco one.  I asked her if she would be able to dye something up that would be Draco inspired. I felt kind of weird asking, since I do have a vague idea that dying is pretty labor intensive, but I figured that she could certainly say no. She didn’t and got the yarn to me within two weeks (maybe a little less). I was hesitant to mention the shop name because of the whole, “Once bitten, twice shy” thing.  I got the yarn a week ago, and I’ll finish the socks today. 

Without further ado:

My photography skillz suck and the colors in the picture are way off. The actual striping is a dark grey (almost black), medium grey, dark grey, green, yellow, green, dark grey…repeat, sequence. I love the striping so much! I just did a 2×2 rib, with a twisted 1×1 rib on the cuff. I really wanted the striping to show, but I didn’t want to lose my sanity.

The best part is this:

See any pooling?  Yeah, me neither.  I thought I must have just gotten lucky with the first sock.  I did try to start at the same spot in the color repeat on the second sock, but I was a little off.  The second sock is even better, if that’s possible.  I love that there is virtually no break in the striping sequence on either sock.  Magical yarn?  Must be.

The yarn is thinner than what I’ve been using, kind of like Trekking or Lorna’s Laces.  It’s a 75/25 blend, but is still soft.  I would buy this over Vesper, Lorna’s Laces, or Trekking any day of the week. 

The seller has some Twilight inspired yarn, as well as more Draco yarn and others.  I highly encourage you to check out the store. 

www.biscotte.etsy.com

Slightly Disturbed

I walked into LouLa’s room the other evening and saw this:

Eh…

The weight loss was a weight gain.  But, it’s only 0.2 pounds, which is much better than I deserve after the last few days.

I am very proud that I am back running again*.  I figured it would be really hard to get back into it again, after not doing anything for the past 3-4 months.  I’m back to going straight for 25 minutes.  I need to up my endurance and go for longer and longer times, but after just a couple of weeks, I feel good. 

I’m awaiting the Draco yarn for my sister’s socks.  I should get it this week and I love the pictures the dyer posted.  I’ll link to her shop when I get the yarn.  I knit LouLa some socks and now I don’t really have any on the needles.  I’m still working on the cardigan, as well as the coworker’s scarf.  Both projects require the same needles, so I can’t easily switch back and forth unless I want to take the needles off one project and put them on the other.  I’m trying to make myself work on the scarf, because it’s an albatross hanging around my neck.  It’s very boring and I’m not happy with how wide it has turned out.  Plus, I think I’ll have to order more yarn, which makes me wish I had done a Harry Potter-type of scarf in the first place.  My coworker will like it, I’m sure, it’s just annoying to me.   

*Disclaimer:  When I say “run”, most people probably see a slow jog.  I have very short legs, and I’m overweight, so it’s not like I’m some gazelle on the treadmill.  It feels like running to me.

When PMS Attacks

It’s been a tough day.  The week hasn’t been great, but I’ve managed to deal with my cravings.

Until today.

A slice of chocolate/caramel macademia nut cake, a grilled cheese sandwich, a couple of mini Butterfingers, a fish sandwich, french fries, and a few bits of a chocolate ice cream sundae…

That is what happens when PMS attacks.  Throw in some irritability and night sweats for good measure and my life has been a regular party.

Ick, ick, ick.

The good news is that tomorrow I’ll go to the gym and run.  It might not make up for everything, but it’s a new day and I’ll do better.  Lest you think all was bad, I was able to avoid Cheetos not once, but twice today.   That’s something, I suppose.

I have a weight goal that I want to make by the 17th.  If I do that, I’m going to head to the big city to a yarn shop that I’ve never been to.  Based on my weigh-in last Sunday, I only have about a pound and half to lose.  I know I’ll have some damage control to do after today, though.

It’s (mostly) all good…

Down 1.6 pounds this week.  AND, I went to the gym yesterday and today.  AND, I ran on the treadmill.  AND, I’m sore, but in a good way.  I gotta get at least one workout in during the week.  It’s so much easier to go on the weekends, but I end up spending my Saturday workout trying to get back on track and make up for the five days of inactivity.  Maybe Wednesdays. 

Since I got to a certain weight, I am rewarding myself with a trip to the local yarn store.  They’re having a 25% off sale in honor of the Super Bowl.  I need to get some wool wash, and I’ll keep an eye out for a couple of books that I’ve wanted to get.  There will mostly likely be a sock yarn purchase, and I *might* get some Cascade 220 for another sweater.  I’ve enjoyed working with the 220 with my sweater and Josh’s.  It’s so reasonably priced, and the local store carries it.  The store doesn’t have the greatest selection, or maybe it’s the way it’s set up (not a lot of rhyme or reason), and it’s pretty dark.  I don’t go there normally, but with 25% off everything, and a need for some retail therapy, I can’t pass it up. Oh yeah, I need to get some buttons or something for the Feb. Lady Sweater.  I wore it this week and it’s fine, but it kind of flies open and it needs some kind of closure.

For those of you who know Josh, could you give him a nudge about Valentine’s Day?  I’m not expecting a big production, but it would be nice if he came up with the idea of going out to dinner that weekend.  It would be nice if he came up with that idea any time, but VD is a good excuse.  I love to plan, but it gets a little tiring to always be the one who makes the plans.  I don’t want chocolate, or flowers, or jewelry, just a night out that isn’t entirely planned by me.